she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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