Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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