these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
