my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize