I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize