I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
being pregnant is like rehab
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
