there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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