"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
