3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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