We're like a lot better than the average bears
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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