I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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