Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
