you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
