What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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