Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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