AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize