We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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