I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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