the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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