whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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