I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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