what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
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I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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