I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
