I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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