I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
