i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
