She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
