I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
