i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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