have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Randomize
