I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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