you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
