you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
