Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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