I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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