so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
