It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
