wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
