Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize