as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
