Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
