The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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