he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
