I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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