I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
