im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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