It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
