you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
