...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Randomize
