is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
