what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
