im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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