Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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