Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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