I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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