i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize