God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
