first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
