I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You can't motorboat a personality
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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