You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
