Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
