I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
