it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
love makes seman taste better
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
