Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
