I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
