Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize