party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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