Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
