You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
